David and I have taken part in an ongoing campaign by Merck Healthcare (“embracing carers”) to highlight the role that caregivers play for people going through life-changing health diagnoses such as cancer and multiple sclerosis.
For us, of course, David became my carer during my first bout of cancer during lockdown in 2020, when the side-effects of radiation treatment were at their worst. Our experiences were far from unique, which included emotional struggles, nutritional distress (especially as eating and drinking was impossible for me), altered lifestyles, changes within the dynamic of our relationship, and my constantly changing support needs. These all took their toll on David, although he would be the last person to ask for help, whilst I was ill.
I think it's also interesting that the fear of recurrence (of cancer) can affect the carer more than the patient. During my first bout of cancer, this rings true somewehat as I, perhaps naively, was absolutely confident that I would finish treatment 'cancer-free' whilst David was characteristically more cautious.
So, for two days at the start of July 2024, a film crew took over our house, and we got to experience at first hand just why it can take 90 mins to perfect a 9 second piece of film! The team were absolutley amazing and made both David and I completely at our ease.
Being part of this video-making process was actually very cathartic. It made me think deeply again about the enormity of what David and I actually went through at the start of 2020, during lockdown. And of the debt I owe to David for what he did for me, for us, at that time.
Rightly or wrongly, cancer inevitably leads to a focus on the person who has the disease. But more than the patient is affected - partners and immediate family bear the brunt of cancer as well. And for us, this video was a chance to move the focus, for once, from me, to him.
Here’s the final version of the video made ‘embracing redirection’. It's wonderful ❤️
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